life. love. and the sexy bits.
Real talk about what's really going on in relationships after 40. Plus podcast episodes, essays, and random musings.
How Talking Leads to Good Sex in Relationships
At the start of a relationship, curiosity is easy. Effortless. Uncomplicated. Mostly because we know absolutely nothing about the other person. So we ask questions. We listen. We're interested. But of course, the longer you are with someone, the less curious you become. The brain loves to automate. That's why we think we know all there is to know about our partners. The brain is always looking for patterns. So, once we see a pattern, we stop asking questions. Which kind of sucks. Don't get me...
Aging Like a Grown Ass Woman
May 2, 2025 | ISSUE 12 Wanna listen to this instead? Click here There’s a new kind of relationship I have with the mirror lately. It’s not playful like it was in my 20s, when I’d catch my reflection and smile like we had an inside joke. It’s not quite like my 30s and 40s either. Back then, I was constantly scanning for something to fix, treating my face like a project. It’s different now. Slower. More tender. In some ways, it is more brutal. I notice things I didn’t before. The sag under my...
🍁 Slow. Steady. Sensual.
This week on Love Is…, we’re easing into one of my favorite seasons, Sexual Autumn. Autumn is all about intentionality. Slow arousal. Deliberate touch. And centering sensation and pleasure. You might feel averse to the hype of hot and bothered right now. And that’s okay, this is the perfect time to dawdle (Love that word!). Click to Subscribe + Listen In this episode, we explore: Why slow sex isn’t “lesser” sex How to reconnect when you and your partner are out of sync The hidden gifts of...
Laundry, Like Love, Tells on Us
The most exquisite parts of life are nestled in ordinary things.Like laundry. The ritual… Folding. Smoothing. Flipping. Tucking. I love the consciousness that lives in the creases.The way touch lingers in cotton and fibers.The freshness reminds me of home. It’s not the clothes and linens.It’s the story they tell. The sweatshirt a former lover left behind.My daughter’s middle school beach towel with the faded palm trees. Those holey socks I refuse to throw away because my sissy gave them to...
Is It Hot 🔥 in Here? Or is it Just You?
This week on Love Is…, we’re continuing our Sexual Seasons series—and this one’s bringing the heat. We’re talking Sexual Summer, baby! Think raw hunger and spontaneous quickies. It’s that can’t-focus, can’t-wait kind of energy that won’t leave you alone. We’re conditioned to associate summer with youth, but I beg to differ. In this episode, I’m breaking down: Why summer might not come until you’re over 40 (which is a beautiful thing). What to do when your partner’s not in summer with you....
💌 What do you hear?
Close your eyes for a moment. What do you hear? I want you to listen, not to the obvious things, but to the often overlooked language of aliveness. The breath of the room. The sigh that escapes your chest when you finally sit down to rest. The quiet rustle of fabric against your skin. Over the years, I have grown hypersensitive to sound, so much so that I don’t always appreciate it. But lately, I have amplified my attention to the symphony of noises around me. The low, velvety rasp of my...
💧Wisdom in Water
April 18, 2025 | ISSUE 11 Last night, I watched an ice cube melt. It clinked against the glass—defined, bulbous, square, with firm edges. Then slowly softening. Dissolving and disappearing into what it had always been. That’s how I see spirit. It takes form. Becomes a body. Tree. River. Human. Held for a spell, in the shape of something solid. Yet always, it is water, never forgetting how to return to itself. I think of myself as spirit in solid state. Not separate, but momentarily distinct....
When the Breeze Feels Like Foreplay
Today’s Love Is... episode kicks off a special four-part series I’m calling Sexual Seasons. Sexuality moves through phases, just like nature. Each phase has its rhythm and flavor. Shall we begin with Sexual Spring? 'Tis the season of reawakened desire. When your skin prickles to life and you begin to feel everything. A gentle breeze. Wafting scents. Passing glances. Click to Subscribe + Listen Spring is playful. Unpredictable. Sometimes confusing. But it’s also glorious—especially after a...
Unsexy Turn-Ons 🔥
We might be limiting the possibilities in how we think about arousal. It’s not always about lace and low lighting. Sometimes arousal is spurred by a freshly folded towel. Or the sound of a well-timed I already took care of it. When your partner does laundry without being asked. Or the thrill of hearing the dishwasher hum to life after dinner, because they saw the mess and handled it. Not for validation. Just because. Some other unsexy things that turn me on… When you listen —the first time....
BONUS: Love That Calls You In
This is a little bonus minisode I had to share while the feeling was still fresh. It’s about the kind of love that doesn’t fix — it holds. The kind that doesn’t shame — it calls you in. The kind that doesn’t keep you company in the dark — it helps you find the switch. Click to Subscribe + Listen And if you’re ready to stop betraying yourself in the name of being nice, needed, or helpful… Me, Again is that kind of calling in. That kind of love. Applications close tomorrow. Apply Now. xo,
Real talk about what's really going on in relationships after 40. Plus podcast episodes, essays, and random musings.